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Well I haven't posted for such a long time and so much has been happening and has happened.
My time over the past few months has been split between work, my mum and my partner. At the end of last month I was forced to take special leave and rearrange my annual leave and maternity leave to rush up to be with my mum.
I had been faxed a letter at work that put everything into perspective, mum had weeks rather than months to live. This from the doctors at Priscilla Bacon Lodge, Colmans Hospital, Norwich.
Work was great and I left that week, I spent a week in the hospice at my mums side, watching her hallucinating, being drugged up when she asked to go home and fighting with staff to allow me to take her home.
On the subject of taking her home to die, when mum had agreed to go into the hospice to get her pain management under control they had promised her that when she wanted to return home she could. So when I got there she wanted to go home, I was there to look after her. According to the nurses I couldn't look after her because I was pregnant, what you will read shortly will show how this was not the case.
When I first arrived I found my mum on oxygen, she had told me her mouth was sore when I spoke to her on the phone, what I found was that she was on oxygen, her fluid intake was low and no mouth care was being done except for once a day when her teeth were being brushed. Skin from her dry cracked lips was stuck to her teeth and her tongue was swollen and dry. Of course I straight away began ensuring she drank, cleaning her mouth and teeth and using lip balm on her lips throughout the day.
She became restless and disorientated, at times trying to get out of bed, she was on such a high dose of sedatives, I requested they dropped the antidepressants as she had gone in without needing them, this is part of a pre-written care pathway for all terminal patients, not an individual care plan at all. When she was hallucinating instead of giving her the Halaperidol that she was prescribed PRN she was given numerous doses of other sedatives in an effort to knock her out rather than just calm the hallucinations. This is something that even the doctor had admitted was wrong when confronted.
During the periods of restlessness when she tried to get out of bed I requested help with getting her back on the bed and was told they would be there shortly. In the mean time my step father and myself were left to move her and get her comfortable again, an old man and a heavily pregnant woman. An hour later someone came and told me that they were just waiting for another 3 nurses to be free to move her. Now my mum was not big and obviously not difficult to move, I asked how it took 4 of them to do it when an old man and a heavily pregnant woman managed just fine.
One morning I went in and put a clean nightdress on my mum, four days later she was still in the same nightdress and I was still being told I wouldn't manage her care due to being pregnant.
I got to the point that I threatened them that if I heard that again I would most likely hit the nurse who said it, I pointed out that I had been doing the same job as them since leaving school, now 13 years. That they still had not put the basic care in place ie. regular 2 hourly mouth care, obviously they hadn't given her a wash for 4 days as she was still in the same nightdress etc. I told them how disgusted I was at them and that I always ensured that I looked after the dying in the way that I would expect to be cared for and the way which I would expect my relations to be cared for too.
On Sunday 7th September I went into the hospice as normal, I sat and hugged her crying non stop, by this point she had been so drugged up she couldn't move or even speak. Her eyes flicked open when she heard my voice only they weren't her eyes. The rich brown had turned light hazel and she watched me. Strangely she could still nod, shake her head and raise her eyebrows to answer questions.
I sat and told her to let go, that I would be okay and the baby would be fine. She squeezed my hand to her and mouthed "I love you", then she cried.
Over the next 2 hours my mums breathing changed, the death rattle developed and I sat holding her hand. My step dad finally came back and within 5 minutes of him being there mum died.
We had her funeral on the 17th September, the crematorium was packed with near 100 people being there. I never cried, I don't even remember the service, I couldn't look at the coffin, sing the hymns or say the prayers. I was just there nothing more.
Now I'm fine and can hold it together as long as I don't think about the baby and as long as people don't insist on talking to me about how sad it is that she didn't get her wish to she her first grandchild.
Now this is the only form of complaint I will make against the hospice, you'll note I've named it in the post and it has gone in the labels. The spiders will pick it up and anyone else searching the net for the place will get to read just how wonderful my mums care was. I will say this is just one account and in no way suggests that the care at this hospice is always as bad, other people may have found them to be wonderful and had no issues at all.
I do want to praise one nurse, Anita, she was a rock and she did as much as she could, unfortunately she went on leave just before my mum died, she did however try her hardest to set everything up so we could take her home.
My time over the past few months has been split between work, my mum and my partner. At the end of last month I was forced to take special leave and rearrange my annual leave and maternity leave to rush up to be with my mum.
I had been faxed a letter at work that put everything into perspective, mum had weeks rather than months to live. This from the doctors at Priscilla Bacon Lodge, Colmans Hospital, Norwich.
Work was great and I left that week, I spent a week in the hospice at my mums side, watching her hallucinating, being drugged up when she asked to go home and fighting with staff to allow me to take her home.
On the subject of taking her home to die, when mum had agreed to go into the hospice to get her pain management under control they had promised her that when she wanted to return home she could. So when I got there she wanted to go home, I was there to look after her. According to the nurses I couldn't look after her because I was pregnant, what you will read shortly will show how this was not the case.
When I first arrived I found my mum on oxygen, she had told me her mouth was sore when I spoke to her on the phone, what I found was that she was on oxygen, her fluid intake was low and no mouth care was being done except for once a day when her teeth were being brushed. Skin from her dry cracked lips was stuck to her teeth and her tongue was swollen and dry. Of course I straight away began ensuring she drank, cleaning her mouth and teeth and using lip balm on her lips throughout the day.
She became restless and disorientated, at times trying to get out of bed, she was on such a high dose of sedatives, I requested they dropped the antidepressants as she had gone in without needing them, this is part of a pre-written care pathway for all terminal patients, not an individual care plan at all. When she was hallucinating instead of giving her the Halaperidol that she was prescribed PRN she was given numerous doses of other sedatives in an effort to knock her out rather than just calm the hallucinations. This is something that even the doctor had admitted was wrong when confronted.
During the periods of restlessness when she tried to get out of bed I requested help with getting her back on the bed and was told they would be there shortly. In the mean time my step father and myself were left to move her and get her comfortable again, an old man and a heavily pregnant woman. An hour later someone came and told me that they were just waiting for another 3 nurses to be free to move her. Now my mum was not big and obviously not difficult to move, I asked how it took 4 of them to do it when an old man and a heavily pregnant woman managed just fine.
One morning I went in and put a clean nightdress on my mum, four days later she was still in the same nightdress and I was still being told I wouldn't manage her care due to being pregnant.
I got to the point that I threatened them that if I heard that again I would most likely hit the nurse who said it, I pointed out that I had been doing the same job as them since leaving school, now 13 years. That they still had not put the basic care in place ie. regular 2 hourly mouth care, obviously they hadn't given her a wash for 4 days as she was still in the same nightdress etc. I told them how disgusted I was at them and that I always ensured that I looked after the dying in the way that I would expect to be cared for and the way which I would expect my relations to be cared for too.
On Sunday 7th September I went into the hospice as normal, I sat and hugged her crying non stop, by this point she had been so drugged up she couldn't move or even speak. Her eyes flicked open when she heard my voice only they weren't her eyes. The rich brown had turned light hazel and she watched me. Strangely she could still nod, shake her head and raise her eyebrows to answer questions.
I sat and told her to let go, that I would be okay and the baby would be fine. She squeezed my hand to her and mouthed "I love you", then she cried.
Over the next 2 hours my mums breathing changed, the death rattle developed and I sat holding her hand. My step dad finally came back and within 5 minutes of him being there mum died.
We had her funeral on the 17th September, the crematorium was packed with near 100 people being there. I never cried, I don't even remember the service, I couldn't look at the coffin, sing the hymns or say the prayers. I was just there nothing more.
Now I'm fine and can hold it together as long as I don't think about the baby and as long as people don't insist on talking to me about how sad it is that she didn't get her wish to she her first grandchild.
Now this is the only form of complaint I will make against the hospice, you'll note I've named it in the post and it has gone in the labels. The spiders will pick it up and anyone else searching the net for the place will get to read just how wonderful my mums care was. I will say this is just one account and in no way suggests that the care at this hospice is always as bad, other people may have found them to be wonderful and had no issues at all.
I do want to praise one nurse, Anita, she was a rock and she did as much as she could, unfortunately she went on leave just before my mum died, she did however try her hardest to set everything up so we could take her home.
